“Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others.”
~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky
I am an old man now and because of the constant travelling through various continents for 4 continuous years of my life I have had the privilege of experiencing things that most people might not even in their 70 years lifespan. It’s not a brag, just an observation from meeting people over and over. We all have a lot of commonalities as well as differences that add flavor to this earthly journey of ours.
Now there are a few things that are more commonly experienced by a man than a woman in this world. The beauty lies in this dance of the dragon that almost always choose to balance the scales so as to maintain the perfect equilibrium that exist between the sexes. It would be fair to say a typical woman experience the world way differently than a man and vice versa.
Now as life would have it, that leaves both men and women with a lot of blindspots pertaining to the opposite gender. These blindspots are more thoroughly explained in “The Johari Window” Model. I will briefly explain the significance of this model for our current discussion. Basically, Johari windows says there are 4 windows of consciousness in every individual – Open, Unknown, Hidden and Blind spot. We will talk about the Window of blind spot and unknown here. No matter how much we think we know about ourselves, there are some behaviors we will always stay oblivious to as they are so deeply ingrained in our subconscious we completely forgot we had them.
Taking cues from Johari Window, I see a lot of women and men operating in the world with those blind spots as they never experienced the world as the opposite gender. It’s foolish for men to comment how women should conduct their lives on a day to day basis, just as it’s foolish for a woman to comment on how a man should live. Both experience the life very differently from each other.
Different set of rules apply to men and women when it comes to be been vulnerable as well. The fruits of vulnerability are better enjoyed by women compared to men. For men, it’s okay to observe your emotions but as soon as you let them overpower and control you, you have lost. There is a reason the term “Damsel in distress” is only used for women. Imagine yourself fighting in the Ukraine war, the last thing you need to be doing is letting your emotions control you. There is no time to be vulnerable. Nobody gives a fuck if you are sad or depressed. You need to show up & protect yourself and your family. The only thing men should master is to redirect their emotions so that they can perform at their best. A constant display of vulnerability never benefits a man, it’s like a gladiator constantly flashing the chink in his armour. It makes him vulnerable to fatal attacks.
Men have the burden of performance and women have the burden of vulnerability. Nobody will tell you that in this woke world! Women judge the world according to how they get treated. Women’s vulnerability is glorified and celebrated that’s why they think it’s okay for men to do the same. I repeat, I am not saying men should be emotionally unstable, it’s just that the display of emotions isn’t a trait that benefits a man as much. Deal with your emotions in private, talk to your support group of friends but the last thing you need is to display them in open publicly and frequently. Show me a man who constantly have emotional outbursts and I will show you a man who can’t be trusted.
You can’t run a nation with emotions you need performers, people who do the job regardless of how they feel. Women who are performing exceptionally well at their jobs and politics have mastered this trait. There is a reason gender pay gap exists, most men don’t trust that a woman will see the political or business problem without their tinted glasses of emotions. Women are the most creative and brightest beings on this earth but their proclivity to emotional ups and downs make them less trusted by their fellow peers which are traditionally men. You can see the latest example of Liz Truss leaving the office just 45 days of becoming the UK Prime Minister.
